Summer Holiday
by SchizophrenicFrankie
Summary: Medic is acting very grumpy now that the mercenaries have been given a three week holiday, and Heavy seems to make things worse. Also, Demoman and Soldier have a competition to see who can remain the most sober, and to top it all off, Scout gets an unexpected visit which causes Spy to act begrudgingly nice to him. And if they thought the battlefield wasn't eventful enough...
1. Overboard!

"Come on, ya big sour puss!" the Scout shouted as his back was suddenly drenched in sparkling cool water. With a mischievous smile on his face, he splashed back at the Sniper who had crept up on him, sending foam everywhere, along with his sunglasses. Said glasses must have hit the Heavy's head with quite a force, as soon he had created a miniature tsunami which had engulfed the whole group, the Scout's legs flailing about on the surface as he temporarily became stuck upside down, the whole group howling with laughter.

The Medic merely sneered in response as he shook his head and adjusted his glasses before going back to reading his book about some sort of extremely dangerous surgical trick. He despised the summer holidays, the period of time where both teams could do whatever they wanted and were allowed free access to an 'exclusive beach that was reserved only for them'. Everyone had sprinted to the crystal clear water, except for the German, who simply slung his lab coat over his shoulder as he conveniently placed himself on a towel that Heavy had laid out for him. Since then he had responded to all calls for him to get into the ocean with either an insult, a death threat or a simple act of ignorance.

No one understood why he was so sour during this time, even he didn't know. It was just so… cheery. That cheery attitude that you get when you choose to forget about everything and enjoy the limited time of freedom you are rewarded for good behaviour. But it's such a short time, only three weeks, that the Medic didn't see any point in enjoying yourself for such a short amount of time. He would rather scheme with Soldier about the latest tactic they could use against the BLU's. But unfortunately Soldier had the Demoman's head held underwater, mocking him for being so weak and pathetic… in a joking tone, of course.

Everyone enjoyed themselves on the battlefield anyway, so what was the point of all this work and no play business when you can so easily do both?

Medic shook his head again and attempted to refocus his thoughts on the book. But he was interrupted again, not by his thoughts, but the intruding shadow of the colossal Heavy.

"What do you want?" he unintentionally spat, and the Heavy's expression became less cheery.

"Why doesn't doctor come on water with others? Why does he stay on beach and read tiny book?" the Heavy asked, somewhat regretting walking over here and attempting to cheer up his friend.

"I do not have time for these shenanigans, Heavy, I have more important things to do. Like research on a way to improve the Medigun." He said, regretting snapping at Heavy like that. Maybe he was becoming sourer than he thought.

"Is not valid enough answer. You should have fun with us, just forget about work. Come on, I show you how fun it is." He said, voice cheery as he innocently took Medic's hand, causing the surgeon's book to accidentally fall from his rough hands. The Medic, irksome of the joyous attitude of his friend, slapped Heavy's arm a little too violently as he jerked away from his grip.

"Do not touch me, Heavy! I do not want to go into the water." He spat at the great bear of a man, who took a few steps back, offended this time. The Medic kept his guard up as he carefully sat back down on the towel and brushed the sand from his book.

"Just leave me, Heavy, and get out of the sun. You lot may say I'm a bit of a vampire, but I can assure you I quite enjoy the sun." he said, glancing up at the Heavy, a hand signalling for the giant man to move. But the Heavy wasn't a man to back down. He was a man of endurance, no matter how harsh the cost.

"No." Heavy pouted, crossing his arms childishly. The Medic slowly took off his glasses, adding a slightly tense atmosphere.

"Heavy, I do not have time for games. Please move, otherwise next time I will not be so polite with the words I use." He hissed as he lowered his head low, threatening to strike if this continued.

"No, doctor is not staying here. Doctor is going into water with other puny babies and Heavy." Heavy said stubbornly, this time to the loud snapping shut of a book as the Medic stood up, his height a severe disability when it came to looking threatening.

"Heavy, get out of my way."

"No."

"Now, dummkopf."

"Medic is going in sea."

"No I am not! Now move, schweinhund!"

"I said no before, I will say it again. No"

"Aargh! That's it!" the Medic had reached his threshold and he lunged toward the Heavy, teeth clenched in anger. With one swift motion, the gigantic paws of the Heavy had swung the shorter man over his wide shoulder, Medic cursing in German, face red with rage.

"This is what doctor gets for being so sour." Heavy said in a mocking sing song tone as the Medic banged his fists on the formers back. Glancing behind him and seeing the topaz blue water growing closer and closer. Squirming with all his might, the surgeon managed to release himself from his companion's grasp as he fell heavily onto the warm golden sand. Spluttering out the golden granules, he looked up darkly at the Heavy before lunging again without thinking, immediately regretting the decision as he fell with a mighty splash into the gleaming water.

The whole group roared with laughter as the Medic's head shot wide eyed and panicked out of the water, breathing slightly sporadic at first before scowling at his fellow team members. His whole outfit was dripping wet, his hair flattened against his forehead, almost completely covering one of his eyes. His eyes shot poisonous daggers at the Heavy, who was bellowing with laughter. The Medic had his hands balled into tight fists held firmly against his sides as he took long strides out of the water, the Heavy's laughter gradually subsiding as he saw the Medic's rage filled expression.

The laughter gradually died down until only the sound of peaceful waves could be heard as the soggy Medic picked up his books and stormed down the road to the base.


	2. A Surprise Visit

**Another chapter! I think I'll be able to keep up with three stories XD I'll just try to do one chapter at a time. **

**I hope you guys like it, and I'm sorry if you don't particularly like the name for Scout's Mother, I picked a name I thought would suit her. Judge her, not me.**

**Comment and give your thoughts on this chapter, and maybe what name you would have chosen for her :)**

**ENJOY!**

Medic grumpily flung his soaked shirt down the teams' newly installed laundry chute as he proceeded to dry himself off with a light red towel, his greying black hair clinging to his head. He hated that Heavy for throwing him into that damned ocean, and loathed his team mates' reactions as he climbed sopping wet out of the water. Stupid Heavy. He may appear innocent, but Medic knew the mischief that man could cause, his naïve and almost emotionless face fooling everyone of what he was thinking. But Medic knew what he was thinking. At least that was what he thought. Being partners and damned near best friends, they were the most efficiently functioning pair on the battlefield when Medic bought his Ubercharge on the giant man.

But still, Medic was not afraid to show his wrath to that leviathan. He was not afraid of Heavy, not matter how terrifying he may become, as he knew that the Russian dare not harm his protector in the field. And Medic did use this to his advantage, leading to some pretty tense conflicts sometimes that would scare even Soldier. Still, being friends, they were both secretly having fun. Medic chuckled to himself, recalling an event that had him and Heavy temporary enemies for up to a week. But no matter how much hate one could have for the other, they would never go overboard. It was merely jousting, a bit of fun to spice up their boring day.

But what Heavy had done had gone overboard. He knew how much the German was repulsed with getting wet, that he much rather preferred to read his book quietly than to go swimming with the other buffoons. He guessed that Heavy was simply too excited and therefore too confident to back down to Medic, thus forcing him to walk six miles back to the base (he couldn't find Sniper's campervan keys) and change into a dryer set of clothes.

Medic hastily changed his trousers and underwear before buttoning up his shirt and replacing his sweater vest, swiftly grabbing his book as he set himself down into his comfortable little armchair. Sighing and placing his polished glasses on the bridge of his nose, he opened his book to the marked page. In a couple of minutes, Medic was fully concentrating on some controversial medical procedure, nodding his head in understanding as he observed a very complicated diagram.

A sudden loud shriek caused Medic to jump in his chair, going into alert mode as he carefully put his book on his armchair before edging toward the door. Opening it quietly, he nervously peeked out of the crack to glimpse a figure sprint around a corner. Giving a silent chase, Medic prayed he had not been spotted as he heard feminine panting, the sound of high heels clonking against the floor echoing around the once empty corridor. Medic, deciding to hide now longer, revealed himself to a woman dressed in a blue pencil dress. She had black hair in a beehive style and judging from her overall appearance, looked around thirty.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry mister!" She cried, raising her arms defensively, an almost terrified look on her made up face.

"That's alright my dear," Medic started, instantly recognising her as neutral, despite what her outfit told his RED thoughts, "Now, what brings you here?"

"Oh, um, I'm here to see my son." She said, still obviously nervous and Medic tried his best to give a warm smile. Judging by her distinct Bostonian accent, she was Scout's mother.

"Oh, so you are Scout's mother, are you not?" Medic asked, putting a hand out, and the woman relaxed before shaking it.

"Yep, I'm just comin' to check up on my little man, it's been over a year now and I thought I just have to see him. Ya see, it's his birthday in a week, and I thought I'd throw a little party for 'im."

"Really?" Medic said, a deep hatred for this woman emerging when she mentioned 'party'. Especially one for Scout. "Well, I am afraid that you will be unable to see him for the next couple of hours as he is at the beach with my other colleagues."

"Oh, alright…" the woman trailed off into awkward silence. Medic, brain wildly thinking of something besides killing or experimenting on her, came up with a simple plan.

"Would you like to accompany me and wait in my office, Miss…" he started, gesturing for her to give a name of some description.

"Beverly. And you are…?"

"I am afraid my true name is held as confidential, but you may call me Medic."

"Oh, er, OK… Medic." The woman said, her name scrunching up in confusion as she followed the man to his office. "Would ya like me to help you with something; I don't wanna be a pain."

"Hmm… you can help me organise my papers if that's not too much trouble."

The Medic grinned sadistically as the woman's jaw dropped, her eyes growing wide as she saw two towering piles of papers.

"Move over, that's my spot!" Scout shouted at the Demoman, turned an eye to the boy.

"Nah, get yer own, pipsqueak!" He yelled back, but was silenced when Heavy simply knocked him to the back of the van, the Scot tumbling into Soldier as Sniper looked warily at the large Russian at the wheel.

"Now, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Da. Is no problem."

"OK, but don't you dare bloody wreck this for a joke. Otherwise you're paying for damages."

"Yeah, yeah, can we go now? I'm starvin'!" Scout whined and Heavy nodded in agreement as the gas pedal was pushed with considerable force, jolting the caravan into action as it careered down the road, the Sniper's many a swear drowned out by the engine.

"Hey, big guy?" Scout said, tapping Heavy on the shoulder, "What was up with the Doc today? He forgot to take his happy pills or somethin'?"

"I think he was mad because I threw him in the water."

Scout, his feet up on the dashboard and arms behind his head, threw a 'Really? You've just figured that out' look.

"No kiddin'. He really got his knickers in a twist there. He's never mad like that, though, I wonder what you did you him before that?"

"Nothing. And if you are implying that Doctor and me are… _that_, I shall rip your puny baby head off!" Heavy threatened, raising a fist at the now cowering Scout.

"No! No! No! I never implied anything, big guy! Nothin' at all!" He raised his bandaged hands defensively, reading to protect his gorgeous face from the Heavy's iron fists. He never meant to imply, albeit subtly, that Heavy and Medic were a couple. Both, especially Medic, would snap anyone who made a joke about them in the immediate vicinity.

Medic went as far as giving Demoman a 'reconstructive vocal cord speech impediment procedure', which as far as the team heard, involved a lot of screaming and a trip to respawn. News got out that Medic's wife had left him a year ago now, and rumours had begun to arise over him and Heavy, as the large man got closer to him after that. But they still denied with a passion that they were not anything, and they had begun to crack over the 24/7 six and a half days a week teasing. And Medic was already severely mentally unstable, so the fact that he could crack again at any moment kind of terrified Scout.

But teasing the pair was like Tourette's for the entire team, they just couldn't stop. Probably because they had nothing better to do than to aggravate their own comrades, but hot biggity damn was it pure sadistic fun!

"Good. Now shut up, or you join team in back."


	3. A Simple Mistake?

**Sorry for not updating in ages, I'm an arse. To be honest, I have been playing TF2 for the whole time XD Anyway, more chapters. **

**ENJOY!**

It was late evening by the time the RED team arrived back at their base, the campervans radiator steaming half way through their journey, causing them to move ten times slower than normal and for Sniper to have a hissy fit at the entire group. They had a laugh at the Australian before growing quite bored with the ordeal and having to sit the remaining journey out.

"Wonder what Medic's doin'." Scout said casually as they entered one of the base's many conveniently placed entrances.

"Sleeping, probably. You know how exhausted the Doc gets some days. Poor bloke, sometimes I think we work him too hard." Sniper replied, earning a sympathetic glance from Heavy.

"Hey, someone's got to do the paperwork and it ain't gonna be me." Scout said arrogantly, pointing to himself as they passed a corner, Medic's door coming into view.

"Well, since we are passing room, we should check." The Russian said happily and rapped on the door a couple of times, Scout snickering at the man's excited nature. After a few seconds and nothing happening, Soldier sighed, bored.

"The Nazi's asleep, so let's just leave him and go have tea."

"Nyet, he is not."

"How can you know, maggot?!"

"Because there is voices in the room."

The group exchanged glances of confusion at the mention of 'voices' as Heavy pushed open the door with his giant hands and two gasps could be heard. The group stared on in shock to see the Medic casually sitting at his desk as usual with a teetering pile of papers, and an unknown woman dressed in blue leaning on the shiny wooden desk, a cigarette in her hand. Both looked quite surprised at the intrusion, until the woman seemed to see something that greatly took her interest.

"Bobby…?" She began, placing a hand over her mouth in shock, and the Scout gasped.

"Mom?" He asked, and the woman nodded shakily before leaping up and sprinting across the room to give her son a giant hug.

"Bobby! Oh I'm so glad to see ya! I've missed you so much, my little man!" She squealed in delight, Scouts face slowly turning a light shade of blue to his mother's suffocating hug.

"Y-yeah, it's me, m-mom! Now let m-me go!" He chocked, and the woman gasped as she released the shaken teen.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry, Bobby-Boo!" She cried, tilting Scouts head up so she could examine the damage she created, fussing to herself, Scouts' face turning a brilliant shade of red as he noticed his team mates' now smirking faces.

"Eheh, uh, this is my ma." He said, pulling away from the older woman. All of the team's faces proceeded to turn in sync to Medic.

"Wait, if she's your mother, what the bloody hell is _he_ doing with her?" Sniper said suggestively, and the Medic chuckled at the Australian.

"If you are accusing me of adultery, herr Sniper, you are very much mistaken. This woman needed a few hours company whilst you were gallivanting about and I needed help with the paperwork."

"Well, to be honest, Medic, mom isn't married." Scout said.

"Bobby, don't be silly, of course I'm married, your father just decided to leave and never come back. And we never got a divorce so that means I'm still a married woman."

"That doesn't, I-" Scout lost his words entirely as his mother gave him a stern glare. She then turned to the team, straightening her dress out.

"My name is Beverly, and this of course, is my son Bobby. I had some free time off work so I decided to visit him down here, seeing as he's too busy with his… whatever he does here to come and visit me."

There was a few moment of awkward silence before a cough drew everyone to Medic once more as he got up and walked over.

"Anyway, now that we have had our little introduction, it seems fitting for me to show you your accommodation for your visit." Medic said before gesturing toward his entire room.

"Wait wait wait, Doc, you're giving this Sheila _your_ room? You never share your room, ever."

"But she is a guest, is she not, not one of you shweinhunds. Besides, this room is far more sanitary than yours and she can have her own privacy and space."

"Yeah, but you're not stayin' with her." Scout almost threatened the German nodded in agreement.

"I did say she is allowed privacy, Scout, which is why I shall be spending the next week or so with herr Heavy." He said, and the whole group gasped, excluding Scout, who burst out laughing.

"Is there a problem, Scout?" The Medic said dryly, raising an eyebrow.

"No, not at all." Scout managed to say, albeit quietly as he choked back laughter.

"Bobby, don't be so rude! Why are you laughin' like tha- Ooh, is it because you two are together? Because if you are, I am not against that in any way, despite what God keeps tellin' us."

It was now Medic's turn to flush a brilliant red as he stared at the still smirking group, Heavy going a lighter shade yet still as visibly uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away.

"Er, Miss Beverly, I can assure you that herr Heavy and I are not in any sort of… any sort of…" Medic trailed off awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, OK, so you're not homosexuals. I'm sorry, I was just assumin' and all. Your wife would probably be as embarrassed as me right now, I can tell you that for sure."

"I am sorry to say, Beverly, but my wife and I are no longer associated with, well, each other." Medic half-chuckled at the woman, who covered her mouth in shock for making yet another mistake.

"Oh my God, I am so so sorry about that. I didn't know, I just assumed-"

"That is quite alright, Beverly, you didn't know." Medic said, his blush slowly fading.

"May I ask how?" the woman asked, wrapping her arm around her waist.

"Let's just say she found my profession unappealing." Medic said before proceeding to hush the group away. "Now it is getting quite late, and I suspect that you have travelled quite far, Miss. So we shall now excuse you and we can continue our conversation tomorrow, as you are probably tired."

At the mention of the last word the woman gave a wide yawn before blushing slightly at medic and nodding. The German smiled softly, before escorting everyone out.


	4. Awkward

**I actually wrote this chapter quite a while ago, then I got major bone idle-itus and didn't do anything as, well, it is the Summer Holiday XD**

**I do apologize for the lack of updates, though, being the person I am I do not want to piss people off, so yeah... sorry.**

**At least you have this chapter, which is by the far the most awkward situation Medic could possibly be in. Ever. Ever ever. **

**Also ****TEEN FORTRESS 2 FANS!**** I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK! REALLY! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE! I DON'T USUALLY DO THIS, BUT PM ME IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS, AND I MIGHT WRITE THEM OUT!... Thank you.**

"Scout should thank his lucky stars that his mother was there; otherwise he would have discovered how long he could hold his breath for…" Medic trailed off, a sadistic smile growing on his face at the thought of asphyxiating the teen's windpipe in the most horrific way possible.

"Da, I agree with Doctor," Heavy chuckled at Medic's twisted personality before a sudden thought came to his mind, "Hey, Doctor, why where you so kind to that woman?"

"Well, for one she is a guest, so I found it appropriate to behave like that. I am a sophisticated man after all," Medic said, earning a quiet "oh yeah" from Heavy, "And well, I don't really know. I guess ever since Martha left I have wanted to show my respect for women as I don't feel I have with her. Besides, Scout would be the one strangulating me otherwise." Medic finished with a chuckle.

He was glad he could tell Heavy his current thoughts, as the Russian was his practically best friend and closest comrade, so there was expected to be trust over the two. And Medic trusted Heavy enough to tell him these things, and the large man would take it in and comfort him. Vice versa, of course, as Heavy was a deeper man then some of RED were led to believe, but he only expressed his true self in front of Medic.

"Heavy understands." Was all the big man said as he got into hid bed, making it creak and bend precariously. Medic proceeded to join him, however he was stopped by the Russian.

"You never sleep in clothes."

"Well my nightgown in my room, Heavy, and I do not want to intrude on Beverly."

"That's stupid. She'll forgive you. Now go and get nightgown." Heavy replied, sitting up in bed, smiling mischievously at the German.

"And I told you before, Heavy, nein, I shall no-" Medic wasn't able to finish his sentence as he was scooped up by the large man and flung over his shoulder like a ragdoll. A now very pissed off ragdoll.

Heavy crept down the corridor, Medic thrashing against his captives iron grip in vain.

"Heavy," he hissed as quietly as he could, "Let me go, now."

"Nyet." Heavy simply put as he stood in front of Medic's room.

"If you dare, Heavy…" the German trailed off, earning a chuckle from the big Russian. Shaking his head in amusement, Heavy swung Medic forward, pushing open the door as he did. Medic landed on a disgruntled heap on the floor, and the door eased shut behind him, Heavy's chuckle fading.

Quickly standing up, he gasped as he saw what was in front of him. Either Heavy was psychic, or he just had perfect timing, as he had landed himself, literally, in the worst situation possible.

There was Scout's mother, as she flung her dress onto a nearby chair, blissfully unaware of Medic. She proceeded to pluck a fluffy edged pink nightgown from the floor, her naked form clearly visible in all its… naked glory. Medic quickly went red as Beverly made eye contact with him, her pupils shrinking before she squealed in shock. Medic swiftly turned on his heel to face away from her, attempting to preserve whatever respect he had lost because of this encounter.

"What are you doin'?! I thought I had privacy here!" She shouted, covering herself with her nightgown.

"No, Beverly, I assure you this is a huge mistake. I didn't mean to intrude."

"Oh yeah, that's what every man says. Real original of ya, what did you do, look through the keyhole or somethin'? I knew Scout's friend were complete creeps, but this just-"

"Beverly, please, I did not mean to-"

"GET OUT!" the woman screeched, and Medic covered his ears as he exited the room at a sprint, his nightgown being flung after him as the door slammed shut. Medic paid no attention to the thing however, running back to Heavy's room at breakneck speed, accidentally running into the door and face planting the floor.

"Doctor!" Heavy cried, rushing to help his comrade. The German responded by batting the large hand away fiercely before standing up to meet Heavy. He had a large scowl on his face, and his nose had begun to bleed. He shut the door behind them as he approached the large Russian, who chuckled awkwardly.

"Hehe… uh, Heavy thought it was funny." He said, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling innocently.

"Don't try to play the naïve card, herr Heavy. You know damn well it wasn't funny in the slightest, so take that smirk off your face this instant, or I shall, permanently, you inconsiderate… schweinhund!" Medic shouted, and Heavy whimpered, shrinking in height as Medic glared daggers at him.

"This is even worse than this morning, Heavy. You know I do not like it when you do that, so could you please stop." Medic sighed, frustrated, as he went to the bed to get himself a tissue before sitting down on it.

"Heavy is sorry, it won't happen again." The Russian said rather gloomily, sitting on the opposite end of the bed, and Medic looked taken aback. Pinching his already stinging nose, he slowly turned and placed a hand on his friends' back.

"I'm sorry too, for… that. But please refrain from doing anything like that again, Heavy," his expression softened as Heavy turned his head and nodded hesitantly, "or I'm afraid you won't be seeing much of your beloved Sandvich."

Heavy detected the playful tone of the German and a smirk grew on his face.

"Really? And what will Doctor do with Sandvich?"

"Oh I don't know. It depends on my mood at the time."

"What mood will Doctor be in?"

"By speculation I shall be very angry."

"How angry?"

"Why, so angry I may let Scout eat your Sandvich."

"Oh really?- Hey!" Heavy yelled as he tackled Medic with a chuckle, both falling to the floor with a loud 'oof!'. Medic could feel his ribs implode into his chest as Heavy landed on top of him, knocking all precious oxygen out of him. Heavy really did live up to his namesake, and Medic was getting reminded of it 100%.

"H-Heavy… M-my e-everything…" he managed to wheeze out, and Heavy immediately hopped up, leaving Medic panting hard for breath. "Y-you…" he trailed off, too busy on catching his breath to insult the large man.

Heavy sighed in relief at the fact that Medic was OK, he did not want to make the man pissed off again. He had learnt his lesson about pushing Medic's limits twice today, and he did not want to learn it a third time.


	5. Of Russians and Frying Pans

**I haven't updated this in forever due to laziness, but i read through it again and realised that it's supposed to be for fun, and I forgot how much I loved the overall vibe of this story, so I decided to continue it. Next chapter will be with Soldier and Demoman, as they need to resolve some drink related conflicts. Heavy's there to help, of course. **

**In the meantime, enjoy some Medic being confused and Beverly being all happy happy snorty snorty. And Heavy's face hurting. A lot. **

Medic was always the first up. He cooked the breakfast, washed the dishes, organized the new batch of files before making it down to the battlefield. It had become instinctual for him now as he automatically shuffled toward his boots at the other end of the bedroom, being careful not to wake Heavy. Unfortunately, the sleeping Russian bear slowly stirred out of hibernation.

"What is Doctor doing?" He asked with a loud, comical yawn. Medic rolled his eyes at his sleepy companion, before answering.

"I always wake up early, Herr Heavy, it is a habit of mine." He droned over the explanation as though saying it to an annoying child. Heavy remained lying in bed, but turned with a dangerous creak to his side to look at the German. He looked in every bit tired, the grey bags under his eyes becoming that much more visible, his dark greying hair all ruffled from getting thrown out of bed by the Russian a couple of times. With a quick sniff and a shake of his head to clear himself of sleep, Medic sidled over to the window and grabbed both curtains. The curtains themselves seemed to hesitate before being pulled open, a beautiful golden light illuminating everything in the formally dark room, and partially blinding Heavy.

Then large man pulled the sheets over his head in protest to the light like a very irritated vampire, and the German man chuckled.

"You are so childish sometimes, Heavy. Sometimes I wonder if the IQ test you took really was correct." He added sarcastically, and Heavy grumbled to himself in his native tongue.

"I am big man, not child. Now, close curtains so I can sleep." He whined, but Medic stamped his foot on the floor in denial.

"Nein, meine freunde, you are coming with me to help cook breakfast. 'The early bird catches the worm', and me being up so early has allowed me to help myself to the most hearty breakfast a man to have." He teased, and Heavy contemplated actually joining him. Begrudgingly, he got up and went to the shipped chest of drawers to retrieve his clothes. Thank Christ he remembered to keep his boxers on that night, or else he might as well have thrown his dignity in a dustbin. Medic got his boots on swiftly and with a few joyous claps trotted out of the door and toward the kitchen.

Medic felt overtly happy this morning for some reason. Perhaps he had taken too much morphine last week and was suffering from severe brain damage? Nein. Perhaps he died and was actually in a peculiar heaven? He pinched himself. Nein. Perhaps it was the feeling of having someone accompany him to make breakfast after all these years of preparing it alone? He only had to laugh that one off as he chanted a tune in German before opening the door to the kitchen only to stop dead in his tracks.

Beverly was standing over the hob, a small radio plugged into a socket and broadcasting some American station as bacon sizzled merrily in a frying pan. The large table that accommodated the entirety of the RED team had been wiped clean of blood and coffee stains alike and was now covered in a red silk tablecloth, complete with matching plates and glasses. The cutlery was the only thing that didn't scream red at this point.

The woman turned in response to the creak of the door opening only to quickly snap her head around and focus of cracking some eggs. Medic looked very taken aback, and thought about leaving, but decided to march over and clear his name.

"Beverly, I can assure you that yesterday was a complete misunderstanding. You see, I was thrown into your private quarters by Heavy, who has every intention for me to end up like that. I'm sorry if I scared you." He tried explaining, rubbing thew back of his neck, feet tensed in case he need to run away from the woman with the frying pan. Beverly contemplated his answer before giggling, turning her head to meet the German doctor's eyes, a sincere and guilty look taking over his features.

"Oh, you big old sop!" She covered her mouth, snorting with laughter at this point. Medic looked very bewildered at her reaction to all this.

"What? You expect me to whack you over the head with this frying pan, huh? I can tell a good man from a bad one, and you sir seem to be good enough to not mean what you did last night!" She said, punching him playfully in the chest. Medic felt a wave of relief wash over him as he chuckled along with Beverly, who went quiet, putting her hand to her chin in thought, lips quivering with laughter.

"Wait, so you said that Russkie fella threw you in here?" She asked.

"Well, ja, of course. In fact, he'll be coming through in a moment." Was the reply, and no sooner had he said it both eyebrows simultaneously turned upwards slyly.

What Heavy learnt that morning was that a frying pan to the face hurt. Especially when thrown by a woman.


End file.
